The main event today was band rehearsal. 7-10pm. The last one before Friday’s show. Our guitar player, Troy, heard on a podcast that it’s best to rehearse in a distracting environment in order to emulate some of the stimuli that happens on stage. Uncomfortable temperatures, bright lights, and rowdy audience members are just some of the factors that take getting used to. So tonight, we rented an hourly studio with a big mirror and asked Chad to come film us for a bit of added pressure.
The rehearsal went great. I always feel like I’ve just run a marathon after we do the set, particularly after our song, Fire Me Up, which features some crazy vocal runs. It was a little alarming to watch myself perform in the mirror, analyzing every movement and facial expression I was making, but I think it will be good for my stage presence the more I do it. One thing is for sure, I have to be mindful of my posture and see that I never slouch, not even slightly, allowing my body to be tall and lean.
It’s funny. In a lot of ways, my background as a model plays well with my current ventures as a performer. When I worked at the nightclubs, I thought of it as practice for my future as a popstar. I pretended that all of the club patrons paid $500 to come and see me dance, and after years of that game, I got pretty damn good at putting on an enticing show. I was used to people looking at me while I charmed them with subtleties; It was how I kept myself entertained for endless hours under the disco ball.
Ah, well, it seems I’m a little bit rusty on that front, but I did see little glimmers peeking back at me in the mirror today, except now, there's the added ballet influence which brings a bit of extra sparkle. It’s not like I have any specific choreography tied into our set (I dream of that) but I think, for now, as long as I have fun on stage and try to keep some of those technical things in mind, I'm going to look great.
Promo is marching along. I still haven’t started my Instagram invites… I will tomorrow. It's a little late, but it’s still worth doing. We were going to distribute flyers around West Hollywood on Thursday afternoon, but apparently the city has a strict ordinance against it, which is a bummer, but totally understandable. So now I’ve got 170 pinups and postcards that I have no idea what to do with. I don’t want them to go to waste; They cost about a dollar each! So I have to figure out what to do with them.
Before rehearsal, I was working with my singing coach, Daniel, on the aforementioned vocal run. He's a brilliant neuroscientist who has helped me unlock so many parts of myself, especially as it relates to my instrument. His techniques help me access various tones and registers in a fraction of the time I would otherwise spend practicing. It's rewarding to see how much my voice has improved after a year of working with him.
I used to dread going to his place for our lessons (mostly because of traffic). But over time, it has become a cherished part of my week. Singing has a lot to do with the nervous system, and I always feel better after spending time being present in my heart space. Not only that, but I'm finally starting to feel grounded in the reality that I am a professional singer who trains regularly.
There are so many things I worry about as it relates to the future of my career, all these nitty gritty details of marketing and branding… It makes my head want to explode. So many uncertainties, how to know if I'm making the best choices? But then, I guess that’s life. I figure I just need to keep at it with what I’m doing, taking it day by day, growing, and pursuing the things that inspire me.
One thing I know for sure is that I desperately want to get back to my own solo projects. I have sooooo many songs swimming around my head and I want to start making (simple) music video content for them. My heart shines in the story-telling aspect of music, and I love the creative freedom, the world-building, the styling, and the plots of music videos. I’m just itching to finish more songs and start shooting, which is going to be my focus once I have some time to breathe again.
I have the day “off” tomorrow, which really just means I’m not driving to the other side of LA for once. I intentionally scheduled it that way so I can get my house ready before my parents arrive and tie together some last minute pre-show items. Still have to pick out an outfit… send the IG invites… figure out what to do with the flyers.
Most importantly, I’m hoping for a chance to write music and tend to my body in-between the more mundane tasks. I am grossly excited to get back to real writing that has more scintillating poetic depth than these detailed diary entries/to-do lists. I wonder if I’ll ever catch enough time to slow down and focus on creativity, or if one thing after another will forever keep piling on?
In any case, I’m grateful for the progress I’m making and all of the beautiful people who are along for the ride.
Ttyt,
Hannah