Last night, after the epiphany in yesterday's letter, I decided to dress up as my "new self" and take myself on a dinner date. I actually finished the second half of the letter at the restaurant in between glasses of rosé, so if it seems like I was lacking continuity, that's why.
I know, it sounds cheesy, and no, I haven't been taking a manifestation masterclass that told me to do this, but it just felt right, ya know? For a few months now, I've been telling my partner that I don't recognize myself in the mirror, and I had chalked it up to good ole fashioned body dysmorphia, but now I think it's a normal and necessary response to how much my life has changed as of late.
So, I took a long shower, shaved for the first time in well over a month, and put lotion all over my body, really getting to know every curve from a place of pure amazement and love rather than judgement. I put on a classy outfit, very demure, if you will, with just the right amount of sparkle, and I slicked back my pretty blonde hair into a sleek updo before making my way out into the world to be seen.
It was a great experience, but I don't have much more time to get into it, because now, today, as I write this with the tiniest little hangover, I'm about to start the busiest day I've had in a while.
The first stop is the music studio where I rehearse with the band. We share the space with approximately twelve other musicians–– all guys–– and, well... the current aesthetic reflects that. So, after talking with the other bands, I have offered my services to transform the place into an iconic, cozy studio where we can invite guests and record videos.
To start, I am going to clean, vacuum, and go through the massive hodgepodge of equipment and tangled wires so we can take stock and organize what we have most efficiently. Then comes the real transformation, which will happen over the next few weeks.
After that, the band has rehearsal. After that, I'll be driving up to the valley for play rehearsal.
Then, I'm going to watch a friend of mine perform close by, and hopefully do a little promotion for my own show happening in less than a week now.
The cherry on top of it the whole day? A meeting with my old nightlife promoter. At the club.
This is interesting, considering I haven't been to a nightclub since 2021, and actually, on that night, I walked out after only twenty minutes because it was too triggering. So why go?
Well, for starters, I'd like to get a nightlife promoter's perspective on how to get people out for shows. It may also serve as good journalism to step back into that old scene, and on a deeper level, maybe I just want to prove to myself that I'm not that girl anymore. It wouldn't hurt to hand out a few flyers while I'm there, too ;)
Now, the real question is, what am I going to wear?
Ttyt,
Hannah