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Hannah Nalley

My energy is drained from show promo. I probably texted 100 people in the last few days and most of them didn't respond, which makes me feel like a little bitch.


I think I have like, ten people confirmed for tonight, and that's kind of lame considering how much work I've done to get the word out. I did post an ad for the show on Craigslist, and let's not forget about all those flyers I put up earlier this week, so we'll see if that makes any difference.


I'm just feeling so lousy right now and I know that's not very "boss babe manifestation queen" of me but I don't really give a fuck. It takes so much work to make a name for oneself as a musician and sometimes it just straight-up sucks.


Top it all off with the fact that I have step-kids living with me this week, which isn't very popstar chic at all. (And do I even mention this online because it only highlights the fact that I'm in a a relationship with someone twenty years older than me who is non-coincidentally my primary financial investor??)


Shit is so expensive. We just bought $1,000 worth of equipment (in-ear monitors and a wireless mic) yesterday and we'll be forking over $500 more for a videographer, a photographer, and our fill-in bass player later today. That's after splitting expenses with another band member.


I know it's probably normal to feel like shit right now. And it's moments like this that I regret my commitment to a daily *public* blog because I'm worried these complaints will paint me as a loser who is too in her head, which is totally what I feel like at the moment. So be it. At the end of the day, I had dreams and I followed them. Am I a sell-out because I married rich? Maybe. But honestly, anyone who thinks that needs to grow up. Myself included.


I'm sitting somewhere between feeling dead inside and furious with a massive chip on my shoulder, doused in imaginary judgement from everyone around me and the incessant urge to explain myself but no one's actually listening.


What am I doing all of this for? Maybe one day it will all be worth it.


Ttyt,

Hannah




* LOL I was so scatterbrained after the show that I mistakenly wrote a second entry. Enjoy :) *




I got back from the show a few hours ago, and I have to say, it went pretty well, arguably better than planned, which is something of a surprise because it seemed like it was all going to fall apart right beforehand!


I could feel the stress building in the days leading up to the show, and I may or may not have blown a gasket or two when I was getting ready. I swear, it felt like my brain was fried from too many things on my mind. So many thoughts flying around that I was thinking nothing at all.


I did have a body image moment when I was getting dressed, which was honestly to be expected. I settled on a plain black tank top and a pair of red leather pants, which would have been cool except for the fact that they split wide open in the crotch just as I pulled up to the venue. There was no time to do anything about it, so I just had to roll with it. Luckily, my underwear were magenta, so they seamlessly filled the hole (at least I think).


It was basically rush hour when I left my house, so it took me 1.5 hours to get to The Virgil. Their guitar amp was broken, so we had to bring our own. I was twenty minutes late to sound check but thankfully, the engineer was a total pro and helped me set up the new equipment I was using for the first time. It was so nice to be able to hear myself on stage and not have to worry about tripping over a microphone chord.


I was pretty pleased with the turnout, since this was a hard venue to sell. I guess some of my promo did pay off because we had a solid 30 people there, and thank God because our booker was really on us about filling the space. Everyone who saw our first show said we've gotten better and that was extremely validating to hear. I know we have and I'm grateful to be part of that growth.


Heavy Penny, the band who played after us, was super nice and very talented. My drummer and guitar player knew them from past shows. I talked to the lead singer after their set and he was a total sweetheart. My nervousness on stage is starting to subside a little, but the leg tremors aren't entirely gone.


After our set, the photographer took some pics which turned out effortlessly awesome thanks to the venue's vintage, Cuban aesthetic. My friend, Joey, bought me tacos from the stand across the street and then I made my way back to Venice.


I already feel so much weight off my shoulders now that the show is done with. Next time, I'm going to implement a "before the show" routine to help me stay grounded and calm because the emotional rollercoaster of live performance is no joke. I'll become a pro soon enough ;)


Ttyt,

Hannah

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Representation

Management

Genetic Artist Management

geneticmodelsmanagement.com

317-735-5173

Booking

Chad Milam

310-703-0320

Label

Hannah Nalley Holdings

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